I dare say that my short script idea is a pretty good one, and that my husband's notes and comments are brilliant. When we had another couple over for dinner the other night, I told them the very basics of the story, and a few scenes I thought were key in telling the story.
"It doesn't sound like a short," Carrie said. "No, this is definitely a feature." her husband Jake agreed.
I don't want to write a feature script! That is 90 effing pages and, and, like, months of writing and rewrites! That's too much time, too much work in a medium I never took a class in how to write!
And then my stupid brain, just an hour ago, whispered, "You know what, maybe this is your first novel."
And the whole thing is just so very, very strange because if this little thing was a book, I could easily write it right now. I know these characters, I know their story, and it's weird, because, well....
I write monologues. I'm used to it. It's a story that is taking place RIGHT NOW in a character's life, at a heightened moment or crisis in their life, where, similar to an essay, the ending ties back to the beginning.
I had written a small monologue that was kind of the jumping off point to this idea about, geez, over a year ago. It was just the RIGHT NOW of a wife's tremendous guilt. And after five minutes of writing, and probably even less than that, the monologue was done. I'm used to writing small things, small blips, that's it! It's done! I've no patience for things that take more than days to write.
But I think maybe I wouldn't mind spending so much time, a year, longer, who knows, with these characters, with this story.
But I keep telling myself, calm down. Finish fine tuning the short, send it to your friends, get their opinions after reading what you have and go from there. From there. Focus, focus, focus.
Fine tune for another few days and go from there. Because if I can just focus on the now, just focus on the small parts, maybe one day, a year from now, I'll have a novel. If I just shut up and focus on the now, and the small parts, maybe all that work and time won't seem like work and time. It'll be fun.
But who knows. Maybe I'm hugely overstepping myself and the whole thing is crap.
I told you I have terrible self doubt! ;)