Twice on set today, the clients stopped me to remark just how much I look like Tina Fey. They were so happy they could get her doppelganger so cheap! Tina has a scar on her face, I have a mole on my ear. Seriously. It's like we're related. So I thought, you know what? Why not capitalize off her fame? I deserve it simply because of our similarity.
And so, My open letter to Tina Fey:
Picture this: Liz Lemon has a sister. In fact, while Liz's sister, Alice (I know you like that name!), visits her, Liz gets really sick and sends Alice to work at 30 Rock in her stead. No one notices the difference, and all find themselves strangely attracted to Alice and kinda freak out about it. Except for Kenneth, who is sure that the younger Alice is a new pop star ready to steal Liz's place, just like Lady Gaga stole Madonna's. And of course Jack and Alice hit it off and sleep together. It was so great, of course, that Jack promotes who he thinks is Liz to Governor of General Electric. When the real Liz comes back, however, she resigns from her new position, as she had never entered a beauty pageant and felt under-qualified. Jack assures her that it takes no skills to be Governor and that he had actually promoted her to be his Governess, who must wear leather and whip him every Sunday at 4. Liz is oddly okay with that as any and all dental work is free with her promotion. Jenna, jealous of Liz's earlier popularity, comes back from the plastic surgeon's as Heidi Montag.
Wanna do this?
Have your people call my people.
PS How am I PALER than you!?