Pubic Safety

Sometimes Craig's List is filled with actual, good paying gigs. Sometimes it's a place for perverts to troll around looking for unsuspecting, beautiful naifs.

I saw an ad looking for Fit Models. A fit model is someone who a clothing company will hire, and based on their measurements, fit all their clothes to them, which then becomes the standard fit. It's a gig that pays excellent money (most pay at least 75-150/hour) but one HAS to be at least 5'7. I'm 5'5.

Female fit models, (this does not refer to fitness models, but models for fit design) size 0-14 needed for fashion design work. Experience not necessary. The work would average about 5-7 hours a week and I pay $65 an hour- paid at the
time you do the work. This would be consistent work. 

Flag 1: The ad said it was looking for all models, ranging from size 0-14.

Flag 2: No height requirement.

But whatevs. What do I really know about this stuff anyway?

I submit to them. (Most clothing designers hire their fit models from reputable modeling agencies.)

I get a response!

Thank you for being kind enough to respond. Have you done this type of work before?
We do fashion design for females and do everything from designer to causal, jeans, sport, swimwear, lingerie, bras, panties and specialty items. We are looking for models that can do a little of everything and we can set you on a very consistent schedule to an inconsistent schedule. We pay you on the day that you do the work and our general work schedule is 10am to 9pm, 7 days a week. You will also get many free fashions after the designs are done. Please indicate your interests and we will follow with a questionnaire.

 Hmmm. Do you smell that? Smells like salmon. 1) Why wouldn't they want someone with experience, 2) lingerie, bras, panties and "specialty items"? What other types of clothes are there that they didn't mention? 3) Is he running a sweatshop? 4) His email is not company based, which is always a Gigantic Red Flag. It's some random free email service AND when I google the clothing company he says he's CEO of, nothing comes up. HUMONGO RED FLAG. I google his name. Nothing. So, in conclusion, this guy is probably a perv.


But I follow with an overeager, "I'll do anything!" just want to see this questionnaire. And, it is just as awesome as I had hoped it would be. See if anything unusual jumps out at you:

Please answer the below question as best as you can.

1. Height
2. Weight
3. Breast size
4. Waist size
5. Hip size
6. Long waist or short waist
7. Puffy-pouty pubic lips or more normal?
8. Defined mid-section bone structure (hip joints, pelvic bones)
9. Hip size
10. Long legs, short legs relevant to your height.
11. Age
12. Best feature (your opinion) from head to toe
13. Feature you would most want to change
14. Feature you get the most positive comments on
15. Feature you are most sensitive or shy about

Sizes
a.  Shirt/blouse
b.  Pants
c.  Dress
d.  Bra
e.  Panty
f.  Shoe
g.  Jean

That should do it for now and I will be back to you after your return
email and we will  arrange for a phone conversation and go from there..

Hello Number 7. What the eff are you doing here? 5 and 9, you're the same! And what the heck is 12-15 doing there!? And excuse me, but why the "Sizes" sub category! As a designer, you should know that if you have all my measurements, you have my sizes, and that sizes change by designer and company anyways. I mean, come on. Those are not reputable or even smart questions!
And my favorite, "we will arrange for a phone conversation to go from there."


Yes. He wants to know how you're going to look in his head as he talks to you on the phone about your puffy/pouty or more "normal" public lips and talk about what you're most sensitive about so you're vulnerable while he's jerking off.


Now, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe perverts don't go to this sort of length, but if he's posting on Craig's List, HUNDREDS of girls are sending him their pictures in order to get this gig and hundreds are going to fill out that ridic questionnaire. Maybe this is a guy with a start up company who doesn't know a thing about creating an online presence. But I doubt that. I think he's a pervert. "Puffy-pouty or more normal?" cracks me up every time I read it. I know where you're going with that, buddy.


And in other pubic affairs,


I booked that hair show the other day and learned that all the models are going to be walking the runway in white. bikinis.


So great. The hair on top of my head will be cut and styled, while I have to have the hair down under ripped out a few days prior.


I know absolutely nothing about female hedgery, so if you're an aesthetician, or have gone to one since you were in college, I need to know ALL I CAN. I've heard the first time you wax you are susceptible to ingrown hairs and the like, so what do I, as a first timer NEED to know?


Kristin - You're a profesh model who's walked the NY Fashion week - Got any tips?


And sorry for all my personal TMI, but guess what! This is going to be a write-off for me! Which almost makes it worth it.