A Very Stuggling Actress Day

Yesterday, I went to my new waitressing gig, having to ask a coworker to close for me because, yay! I had an audition. Worked, changed, and then drove to my audition in Beverly Hills. It was for Match.com, which, is such a huge bummer, because I thought their commercials featured REAL couples! It's all a sham! And I love that website! I was on it. I always tell people to join it. They should pay me anyways, but at any rate...
The commercial audition had us paired up. I sat next to a guy I started talking with, and it turns out he went to my alma mater as well, graduating 2 years after me. We hit it off a bit and talked, and then when the casting director paired me up with someone else, I immediately thought, "I should ask if I could do it with this guy!" But I didn't. And man, I wish I had. Lesson learned: This is my audition, and if I want to pair off with someone else, they're not gonna give two shits. And our audition would have been awesome, as we were near the same height and already had a lot in common.
Instead, I was paired off with New Actor.
New Actor was obviously not hetero. Obviously not. I dated a gay for two years, so I know (now). New Actor was also much taller than me, which meant I had to crane my neck up to look at him, which is probably not my most flattering angle.
And New Actor was adorable, because after we had slated, or, said both our names for the camera recording our audition, the casting director said to him, "Profiles." That means you turn 45 degrees to show the profile of your face, on both sides. But he, bless him, started talking about how he liked hiking and was really outdoorsy. Cute!
The audition had us pretend we were together for two years, talking to the camera what attracted us to the other's profile when we were on match.com, and then had us pretend that we were meeting for the first time, and then switching back to our two year old relationship, joking and laughing, and then pretending we were at the end of our first date and showing how we really liked each other, and then dancing together.
Commercial auditions are so bizarre. Especially when you have to have a partner, but lesson learned: I can partner up with whomever I want.
You learn something new everyday!

After the audition, I drove alllllll the way up to Northridge to have the hair/makeup artist look at my hair to see if she needed to dye it so that I would match the character I was playing on "Untitled Post Partum" series. I have three different highlights in my hair, thanks to being an Artease hair model (thanks Ash!) that did not match Shelly's look. (I had referred to her as Shelby in earlier posts. Whoops.) So we dyed my hair.  Bye bye highlights. I'll miss you. I'll get them back once we're done filming; the hair/makeup artist will put them back in, they just won't be the same colors or applied the same innovative way, which makes me shed a bit of a tear. Sniff. Sniff.

I then get home and am exhausted. But when I check my email, I see that I have a print audition for the next day.

It all feels pretty awesome right now.

Booked It!

Seriously, the next time you are watching TLC or Lifetime, or Discovery Health, and it's a recreated events show, look for me. I'm all over the place.

Booked Untitled Post Partum Series! Hooray!

The Things We Go Out For

Or rather, I can't go out for this, as they have also printed in bold:

PLEASE DO NOT SUBMIT if you have appeared on Mystery ER, I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant or Twins By Surprise.

LARA
Late 20s- early 30s. CAUCASIAN. Shoulder-length dark brown hair. While her kids are making a craft project, Lara steps away for a brief moment to check on dinner. Her youngest daughter, Caylyn, puts a little foam heart into her mouth and begins to choke. When Caylyn begins to spit up blood, Lara rushes her to the ER with the family in tow. The doctors release her after deciding that the foam heart is just in her stomach cavity and will likely pass through her system. A few months later, Caylyn becomes sick with a cold and doesn't seem to improve. Caylyn is put on many medications and diagnosed with several conditions. After getting many opinions from several doctors, Caylyn is admitted to a children's hospital where it is discovered that an infection has been growing on the foam heart for months. The infection leaves Caylyn in a very touch-and-go state for a few hours, but she is finally stabilized and eventually released. Lara is thrilled to finally have her healthy baby back.

Keep on Keeping On

Sometimes, when I feel a little stagnant in my career, I'll schedule some free photoshoots,
peruse The Agency Book and research agencies I want to submit to, and troll Craig's List's Talent Gigs to see what I can find.

I got an email the other day from someone I don't know with the subject, "Well, well!"

Lira,

We checked out a movie last night called THE HAUNTING OF WINCHESTER MANSION (or something like that) and low and behold, who's the lead? I saw you and was like, I totally recognize that girl. Give me the DVD case! Looked at the back and indeed it was you. I imagine you've been in several more feature films, but this is the first I've seen. Congratulations to you!

You submitted your info for a short film of mine a couple of years ago. I saved your info for future projects. I have two feature scripts in development right now, one set to go next year. Shooting in Colorado or Alaska if the budget allows. Right now the budget is looking around five million. Would be my first big writing/directing gig. There might be a role in it that's good for you. I'd be happy to put in a good word if you're interested (logline below). In the meantime, I'm always working on short projects on the side. Just enjoy doing it. If you're ever up for working on another short film, just let me know.

He had attached the original Craig's List email I had sent him. From June 10, 2007.

Keep on keeping on, my friends. You never know. If you haven't booked a series regular on a pilot, or the lead in a film, all it means is that the role you're absolutely perfect for hasn't arrived yet. But in the meantime, make friends, meet people, and train, train, train, so that when it comes along, you WILL be ready.
Keep on keeping on.

Models Don't Eat

But I rarely model, so I can eat when I'm hungry!

I stumbled upon the most amazing food blog ever. Here is only one recipe I cut and pasted, so imagine how many other incredible tasty items are on there as well. No, wait, don't imagine, just go! Stacey, thank you! You are awesome! Now go to her blog and thank her for your happy tummy.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Coconut Lemon Cake

My friend Cathy at Noble Pig is a great baker and her boys requested this cake.
Well, my husband requested a coconut cake, so this fit the bill. Don't all boys love coconut?

This was a very moist, dense and sweet cake. Good enough for a birthday!

Thanks Cathy, for posting another great recipe.

Coconut-Lemon Loaf
Adapted from Family Fun

1 cup granulated sugar
3 Tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
3 Tablespoons canola or vegetable oil
1-1/2 Tablespoons finely grated lemon zest
1 teaspoon lemon extract (I used lemon juice instead of extract)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup milk
2 large eggs
3/4 cup buttermilk
2-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (2 ounces) sweetened flaked coconut

Coconut-Lemon Glaze

1/2 cup confectioner's sugar
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon melted butter
1/4 teaspoon lemon extract
1/4 cup sweetened flaked coconut

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt. Set aside.

In a large bowl, whisk together granulated sugar, butter, oil, lemon zest, lemon extract, vanilla extract and milk.

In a small bowl, whisk eggs and buttermilk until evenly blended.

With a wooden spoon, stir about a third of the flour mixture into the sugar mixture, then alternately add half of the egg mixture and half of the flour mixture, stirring after each addition just enough to blend. Stir in coconut.

Pour batter into a 9 x 5 loaf pan lined with parchment paper (or greased and floured). Place in a 350 degree oven on the center rack for about 45 to 50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.

When it comes out of the oven place pan on a cooling rack for about 15 minutes before removing the loaf from the pan.



While it's cooling, make the glaze.



For the glaze, combine confectioner's sugar, lemon juice, butter and lemon extract. Whisk to blend. The glaze should have the consistency of heavy cream. If needed, add more sugar to thicken it or more lemon juice to thin it.



When the bread has cooled, spoon the glaze evenly over the bread and immediately sprinkle the coconut over the top.

Purgatory

I went to an audition last week when it was still raining. I was auditioning for "Untitled Post Partum Series." If it's a recreated events show, I've got a good chance, as you might have seen me on such classic re-created event shows as, "What Should You Do?", "Unsolved Mysteries of the ER," "America's Most Wanted," and "Twins By Surprise."

I went out for "Shelby," a woman suffering from, you guessed it, Post-Partum Disorder. And since it's a recreated events show, I have to look like Shelby, a real person. Here she is.


















Now, I don't look like Shelby at all. ANYMORE, but I swear to god, I SHOULD'VE grown up to look like her. Here is me at 14!
Aren't I adorable? Those teeth are pushed forward so much that I can't actually close my lips around them. They always stuck out. But look at my glasses. They are the exact same ones Shelby is wearing!

I got a call from the casting director last night that they loved me and was one of their top picks, that they sent my tape to network and they'd like to put me on "avail."

Being on avail means that I have not technically booked anything yet, because if they literally say "booked" it, then they have to pay me. So they make sure I know the dates I would be needed. Now, because they didn't tell me I was their first pick, I'm assuming that I'm second or third, so that just in case their first pick and second pick can't get off work, or book something else, or get sick, or run over, they still have one more actress for the dates available, and production won't be postponed or move, costing them lots of money.

As my good friend JenIsIris knows, being on avail is kind of a drag. She was on avail for like, 7 commercials this year, all of which she was released from. It's a game struggling actresses play, called "Imagine What I Could Do With All That Money!" Like pay off credit cards, take more classes, update my headshots, take a few casting director workshops! That kind of thing.

But I'm not holding my breath. It's the reason I didn't post the original audition notice when I got it. I didn't think I was going to get it. I still don't. I just love that picture of me at 14 and wanted to share it.

Bring in DaNoise, Bring in DaFont

Hey Guys!

I don't know about you, but I get lots of compliments on my name on my resume.
1) because it's an unusual name. (not Lisa, gosh darn it!)
2) I messed around with fonts and put on some embossing and shadow so my name stands out. It's pretty.

But look! A wesbite FILLED with FREE FONTS! and there's like, millions of them! Go nuts! Go play! Go have fun!

Little Birdies!

Shhhh!!!!!!

If you're quiet, you can hear the little birdies....


I was just told by a very good source that Schuller Talent is accepting submissions and looking for new talent.

Kim Matuka
Schuller Talent
9107 Wilshire Blvd
Suite 600
Beverly Hills, CA 90210

enclose a cover letter, your headshot and resume, and links to your reel!

Best of luck!

If You Can't Afford to Rent a Casting Studio for $15/hour

Then you can't afford me. I mean, I know the economy has gone to pot, but it's just unsafe and unwise to audition for anything anywhere other than a casting studio or theatre. But hey, A+ for trying. I wish your project lots of success.

Project: Gorgeous on Sunset Casting Director: Jay Ellis

FLOOR DIRECTOR Twenties or Early Thirties, normal height and weight, sexy and charismatic, natural acting style, some fashion industry knowledge and enthusiasm helpful, entertainment business savvy and highly motivated to succeed. Either gender and all ethnicities welcome.

Notes:
Thank you for your submission to Gorgeous On Sunset. You are part of a small group of finalists from a field of over 1,000 submissions. Your audition will be held at Taix French Restaurant in Echo Park, at 1911 West Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90026. The nearest major intersection is Glendale Blvd.
Parking –
Please park on the nearby small streets north of the Restaurant to avoid Valet Parking Fees - on Reservoir Street or probably better on Liberty Street. It’s about a 200’ walk away.
Sign-in and Waiting –
Once inside the restaurant, please sign in and wait to be called in a small area on the other side of a brick partition wall near the reception area. This small area has several seats at tables. The area is recognizable because it has a small fireplace and a circular ceiling light fixture.
Your Turn –
We realize your schedule may be tight. With very few exceptions, you will be auditioned in the order that you arrive, except in some instances where time slots are precisely arranged. We will keep order in the process to minimize your wait. IMPORTANT NOTICE –Re Floor Director Role Actors = Priority will be given to those actors who have affirmed their interest in the Real Expanded Production Position.
Complimentary Beverage and Food Service, Plus Meal Discounts –
We will provide complimentary coffee and some food for your enjoyment while you wait. For those of you who wish to dine at Taix French Restaurant, you will find the menu is superb and the pricing is surprisingly affordable. Furthermore, we will pay you five dollars cash toward your check for amounts over $10, and ten dollars cash for amounts over $20.
Short Notice -
We apologize for any inconvenience in the event this audition scheduling is short notice for you. Actually, our schedule is quite open, so please Cmail us to request a change in your time, and even if you cannot reach us, please arrive at a later time. We will sign you in and audition you as soon as possible.
No Sides Needed –
No sides are needed because the Host and Floor Director roles will be improvised at the audition in keeping with the partly unscripted nature of our show’s main content, which will consist of interviewing fashion designers. Basically, you’ll be auditioned in pairs and take turn interviewing each other. Guests will appear on the show and talk about the fashion they and their models are wearing. Floor Directors will improvise directing crew and hosts. We’ll get a clear idea of your talents from this format.
Attire –
Don’t worry a bit about wearing “fashion” to this audition. If you want to dress up, please do, but we’re going to be impressed with your talent, not your wardrobe. Let’s have fun. Let’s Make History! Thanks!!

YOU HAVE MARKED YOURSELF AS UNAVAILABLE FOR THIS APPOINTMENT

$858 Later

The above is the price I've paid so far just for my new headshots. For the session itself,for the retouching of two pictures, for the uploading to LA Casting, for the uploading to Breakdown Services, for the uploading to Casting Frontier....and this is not including the additional prices for making 8x10s either, which will be around another 2-360 depending on whether I print two or three different pictures. I haven't decided yet.

It's all an investment, let's hope. I'd love to tell you dears that I book something soon, all thanks to my TWELVE different headshots. :)

Hollywood is FAKE

Every time you see a billboard, an ad in a magazine, a magazine anything, for that matter, they have all been extremely retouched with Photoshop.

In Hollywood, you're selling a product. And if you're a struggling actress, your image, your face, is your brand, your product. And of course we want that to look its absolute best! But that's impossible sometimes due to, you know, gravity and time and frowning and smiling.

Oh, and trust me, I'm guilty of it too:


















This is why we have 1 out of 3 girls in the United States with an eating disorder. How can they possibly compare to photos that have been digitally painted over? It's not fair, I know, but it's how we work.

One of my favorite Dove commercials of all time is this lovely piece:




My new headshots that I took are going to be going up online tomorrow. I'm only having two of the fourteen photos lightlyt retouched. The rest are going to be me. ME. Nasal labial fold wrinkles, laugh lines and all.

Once they're up, I'll link to them.

Ah, real beauty.

In the meantime, see some more photoshopped images here.

I'm Famous!

That's what happens when you do a film that is SO bad that people have to look it up online just so they can write a review detailing all the things that are grotesquely wrong with it. Among some of my favorites:

The acting isn't very good, though it's passable,and the effects are pretty scary.

There are plenty of good movies out there. If you need to watch one you have already seen, just don't waste you're time on this one. The dialog is almost as bad as the acting and the plot isn't much better.

There isn't a whole lot to say about the film so I'll get right to the point. The acting was by far the worst part of it. The performances were forced, uninspired, and a pain to watch in some places.

The acting was horrible. The parents acting could have been A LOT better... and one line struck me as odd in the whole movie.... "We don't have any money." "Of course you don't" This was in the middle of something that had NOTHING to do with money...so it was like WHAT are they talking about.....Overall, if you are really bored and you're looking for a laugh, then this flick will do just that.

the acting was about as bad as some of the low-budget horror films, playing the outdoor screens, of bygone years. Only then, we didn't complain; it was a dollar a carload.

But that's okay! You know why? Because it was done by a production company that is famous for its bad movies! Most movies take at least 12 weeks to get made. We had 2. I'm not excusing any aspect of anything, but it is what it is: A VERY fun little film to rent and make fun of. Go ahead.

The nice thing about people looking this movie up, is that now on the Internet Movie Data Base, I have been looked up last week 471% more than I had been the week before. My Starmeter (which means absolutely nothing) has a ranking of 4,992. To put it in perspective, I am more "famous" this week than Christie Brinkley (5,162), Julie Newmar (5,409), and Cyndi Lauper (5,435). Again, these numbers mean absolutely nothing, but it's fun nonetheless.

So yeah! Suck it! I'm FAMOUS!

And I'm also training at a new restaurant. Oh, the glamour of being a struggling actress.

Leery

One of the things I hate about being an actress is how I cannot trust people. People have lied to me regarding what they can and want to do to help me. There are people who have grossly taken advantage of me and my friends, and so we learn to be leery of people we don't know who want to do nice things for us. Because, what're you REALLY trying to do?

Take, for an example, Nigeria. Apparently, there are a lot of people there who need my help and money so that they can gain access to their millions of dollars with which they'll pay me back.
The internet is filled with these things.

I just got an email from "Patrik," from a comhem.se email account (which is a Swedish email service. I could tell because there are a lot of words on the site which I had bought from Ikea and put together in my living room. Plus, on my third Google Translator try, proved me correct).
Now, when one creates an email account, you usually put your first and last name down so that people will know who you are. This account only had the first letter of his first name. So in my inbox, all it says is "P" with his actual email being four of the same letters strung together. Like this: aaaa@comhem.se
Fishy, right?

Oooh, but it gets more interesting. In the email, he writes:

Hi,

Im planning an article on Wikipedia about Lira.

I wonder if its ok with her/you ?

And I wonder if you please could add some facts and a photo

Sincerely

Patrik

Of course my first action was to ignore it and click "Spam." He had my email address from my website. How he found that, I don't know, but Nigerian princes have before, so there. Because, really, how could a Swede have even a remote idea that I exist somewhere? For some reason, I just don't believe my "What Should You Do?" episode made that much of an impression on a swede who feels the need to start a Wiki page about me. ME. I AM NOBODY. I'm your every day waitress.

But in my inbox there's another email from the same guy:

Hi again,

Maybe I should add that I just want the ordinary facts like birthday, where she grew up, marriage, children, hobbies, future plans...

This is no spam or something weird its 100% serious.

Im planning doing other articles too, but there wasnt any Lira one so...

Sincerely

P

Okay. So maybe this person is a real person with real feelings and somehow found me and wants to write something about a no-name actress just because. Maybe if he publishes on Wikipedia, he'll have an article to reference as a writing sample to get more work. Who knows. So I thought the least I could do was respond:

Patrik,
I am flattered,
however, how did you hear of me? Do you have other articles you have written for Wikipedia? Forgive me, but I have Nigerian princes asking me for money all the time, so I hope you can appreciate my hesitance.

With his response, maybe I will tell him my birthdate, place of birth, mother's maiden name and social security number. It's the right thing to do.

New Bread and Butter Job

The economy has been so bad lately, that my hair modeling audition ratio has gone waaay down and I'm not making as much money on the side as I used to.

I'll help opening up a new restaurant as a server, where I will be sure to never name and never talk about who comes in.

I feel angry that a company who had a server for 5 years fired him without a warning.

My heart goes out to you JB. May you get a series regular on a top ten show soon.

Shoppy Shoppy!

I love to go shopping! Except during Christmas, of course. Oh god! I HATE crowds. I never go to the malls on the weekend. There's just too many people.

Once I went shopping with Antne's mom, and SHE is a shopper! That lady is amazing. She knows tricks! For instance, we were at Bed Bath & Beyond once and she saw what could only be described as a 2 egg frying pan. This thing was TINY. So she points at it and says, in a heavy Sicilian accent, "So Cu!" Which is her way of saying "So Cute!" I'm next to her and agree, it's so cu. But we don't need it. And she is on a mission to buy us stuff for our apartment. She grabs two of them. And THAT'S WHERE SHE WAS BRILLIANT! Because if she had only grabbed one pan, I would've said, "Oh, Mama, no, we don't need it," but since she grabbed two, I had to tell her that we didn't need two, we'd only need one. BRILLIANT! FREAKIN BRILLIANT!

I hope to one day be a shopping pro like her.

Anyways, I've been really admiring the new season stuff lately. It's been super cold here in the valley, like 68 degrees, so I've been coveting coats and boots and things.

You want two of any of these?

Isn't this coat awesome? It's got 3/4 length sleeves so your arms peek out. Wear your leather gloves! Fancy!










I love how it flares out at the hip.






Oooh! Vintage inspired swimsuits! In Gold! And sure, at 68 degrees, it's too cold to go swimming, but I could hold onto this for the four months until it's warm again.














I've been noticing a lot of shoes this season are accentuating the back of your foot's heel. There's a lot of fringe, or ruffles or whatever. I think it's lovely!

















This cute little sweater reminds me of the sweaters I'd wear growing up in Northern California, where it does actually get cold. And the 3/4 sleeves (I love full sleeves just shy of a quarter, apparently) and the ribbing on the waist help accentuate that you're not a kid anymore.








BOOTS! Oh gosh, how I love boots. Trendy boots that will only be good for one season boots! So sexy. I'd love to walk into an audition wearing these and randomly side kick an evil doer. And since most auditions are in LA and people who live there no longer have souls, that could be anyone!














A simple cuff bracelet adds a lot of intrigue and glamour to the basic tank top that I am famous for wearing. It's like, oh look, another hum drum wanna be struggling actress in a tank top - but wait - she's got a cuff bracelet! Oh man! That girl is gonna BE SOMEBODY!













It's hard to find good hair accessories that don't immediately get lost in my tresses. My hair tends to bulk and curl around any hair pin or clip, practically devouring it for sustenance because I only shampoo my hair 2 a week. Purple was last year's fall color and it's back, which I don't mind. It's my favorite color! This is pretty. I like.










I bought my measuring cups from Pic N Save yeeeeears ago and could really use an adorable upgrade. Nesting measuring cups! And I'd sharpie them up so they stand out. Adorable. In fact, I might even buy a second set of these just to keep my jewelry in. Thanks for the idea, Mama Nina! Grazie Grazie Grazie!

Commercial Auditions

Commercial Auditions sometimes seem so incredibly random to me. I mean, I can just imagine a casting director clicking away on submissions while singing Eeny Miney Moe.

I had an audition a couple days ago for Wendy's, where I had to pretend to smell bacon. Luckily, I have a BFA in pretend so this was a pretty easy task. I left the audition thinking - weird. Commercial auditions are just so weird.

I had my callback yesterday morning. Now, like I said, I always read the sign-in list cause I'm nosy as hell and want to see if I know anyone on it. I missed Amy Paffrath by an hour, which is such a shame, because I bet she was wearing a killer outfit with some sweet boots.

At any rate, I'm sitting in the waiting room and the girl next to me has super curly hair, just like mine, except way longer and all one color. She admires my bangs. Aw thanks! We talked about them, and she asked me is she should do it. I said, well, know that they are going to tickle and annoy the heck out of you, BUT it's a change, it feels current, and we can always straighten them to get them out of our face. I like to think she seriously considered them after liking mine so much (Thanks Artease!)

It's a group scene, so five of us are selected to go to the antelobby before we go into the room. The guy next to me chats up CurlyGirl and says, you look really familiar. She replied that she was a tv whore. He asked what she had recently been on and she replied General Hospital and Greek. He said that couldn't be where he's seen her, so then he said, well, what have you done that you're most proud of, which, man, what a great question!

She said, My So Called Life.

I once watched the pilot on dvd with Marley, but couldn't place this girl.

It's our turn to pretend to smell bacon. We do. We leave.

CurlyGirl and I are walking back with The Other Guy in our audition who was complaining about having to drive back to Long Beach. Good luck with traffic, we had both said. Then I see her point to a car which goes "boop boop!" and unlocks. "Have a nice day!" she calls out merrily, and she hops into her white ferrari and drives away.

Wow, I thought, kind of excited, an actress with a ferrari!? Awesome! She's WORKING.

Yeah she is. Quite a lot. CurlyGirl is Senta Moses. Weird. She's slumming auditioning for quick service restaurant commercials! And that's why commercial auditions really are so random. You never know who you're going to pretend to smell frying cured pork flesh with.

Hell Hath No Fury

I get absolutely pissed when I am being taken advantage of. Especially when it comes to acting stuff, as my faithful readers well know.

The latest was a breakdown I had submitted myself for, for "Cosmetics Company." They were looking for models with great skin. Well! Submit away I did!

I got a note regarding a project from them this morning, which read:

Hi,

Below are all the details:

Cosmetic Company Casting Female Models of All Ages

The e.l.f. Cosmetic company is casting females to represent their line in 2010.

Compensation: $1000 plus generous make-up package. Travel paid.

Females of all ages can apply. 4 models chosen in each of the following age categories-

teens, 20's, 30's and 40 plus.

More details and application are on their
site:

http://www.eyeslipsface.com/beautyatallages.asp

- Amy

Now, I'm already annoyed because what is this on here about an "application"? Didn't I ALREADY APPLY by submitting for your project?

So you click on the above url and what happens? You get rerouted to exploremodeling.com. Now, if you've been in LA long enough, you know that exploremodeling sounds a lot like exploretalent.com, which is a scam. Further investigation and it seems that yes indeed, exploremodeling is a sister company which requires you to pay to be registered and blah blah blah.

So I am pissed. The breakdown is fake! It's spam designed to get you on another submission website which no casting directors are on! I replied to "Amy" that I believed it was such and was contacting breakdowns to alert them.

Breakdowns thanked me for letting them know and her account has been removed. I hate being preyed upon.

Hearing Voices

Sometimes my mother would watch tv and laugh. When it was off.

My mother is schizophrenic. Here's a small sample of what she goes through.

LiSa Kellerman Strikes Again

But at least she was good in the movie I was in.
Still haven't popped in my DVD just yet. I'm waiting until tomorrow night. Ooo, the anticipation. Here's what Fangoria had to say:

Also arriving on DVD this week is an indie ghost story served up on quite the traditional platter. HAUNTING OF WINCHESTER HOUSE follows a young family who move into a mansion to act as temporary caretakers. An immediate assault is launched on the trio by ghastly forces within the home. Susan (Lisa Kellerman) and Drake's (Michael Holmes) daughter Haley (credited in the film as Barry Womack, credited all over the net as Patty Roberts) is kidnapped by a mysterious wench of a ghost and held captive somewhere within the house, sending Susan and Drake into an understandable frenzy as they tear the place apart searching. But what they find isn't Haley, but an assortment of spirits, and they've got business that Susan and Drake must help finalize if they hope to ever see Haley again.

My first point of notation is Mark Atkins and his clever little script. Mark goes above and beyond with this tale, infusing a handful of plot twists that have all admittedly been used before, but seldom used together; To see them all successfully incorporated into one picture is impressive. When you think you've got the whole story figured out, count on Mark to toss another two monkey wrenches in the fold, and it's a good thing too. The attention to detail is what helps distance HAUNTING OF WINCHESTER HOUSE from every other haunted house story on the open market. Unfortunately I can't honestly praise the cast as a whole, but I can give a nod to Lisa Kellerman and Tomas Boykin for anchoring a somewhat shaky ensemble. Finally, I must say the score, composed by Chris Ridenhour makes for a nice final layer of frosting atop this cake of chills. All in all, it's a fairly tasty treat.

DVDetails
DVD extras include a brief behind the scenes featurette and two deleted scenes.

That's Not My Name!

My dad was a nerd living vicariously through his Cal Berkeley hippy peers in the late 70s. He was too studious to smoke much pot, and probably thought scoring drugs meant evaluating their performances in clinical tests.
And when my mom was pregnant with me, a girl (!), my dad was super excited to start thinking up names. No Jennifer, or Jessica, or Amanda for his baby girl, oh no! He wanted a name that stood out! That required people to know Greek!
So he named me after the constellation Lyra. But see, this was before spellcheck. And my father, who had his masters in Physics! had no doubt that he knew how to spell.

And so on my birth certificate, there's my name. Misspelled.

But that's okay, Lira is also money! The only problem, though, is that sometimes when people see my name, their brain switches the a and r so that the word is familiar to them. I get "Liar." a lot. in fact, the first time I saw this movie poster, I thought it had my name on it twice.

At any rate, people misspelling or mispronouncing my name is not uncommon.

But I was on my way to making my name more popular! People compliment my name all the time, how unusual it is, how pretty it sounds aloud. And I love seeing my name in print, because growing up, at DisneyLand or Great America, or any other tourist place in the world, my siblings could get keychains and mugs that proclaimed them theirs, but I never could. And so seeing my name during the credits of projects I've done is so hugely awesome and rewarding.

And so when I booked the lead role in Haunting of Winchester House, I was excited, because my name would be all over it! I received my copy of the dvd yesterday, and I was giddy as I turned it over to see the bottom credits. And there! There was my name in print:

STARRING: LISA KELLERMAN

sigh.
That's not my name.