This is a real breakdown.
Maybe I'm slow, maybe I'm stupid, but this is a rather cryptic project and it sounds like whoever is producing it doesn't know what it is either.
And they won't send you the script!
I mean, here- here's a job where the interviewer won't tell you what it is, what you'll be doing, or how you'll be doing it, or even what you'll be paid.
If you want actors to take your project seriously, you need to let them know what they're going in for. Don't expect them to make magic happen when you refuse to give them a top hat and a rabbit.
Good luck with your project. Seriously.
[Redacted]
Non-Union Feature Film
HD Feature, microbudget, macroheart
Shoot/Start Date: Feb 9
Pay Rate: There is pay
Location: Los Angeles
Work with people with credits, and years of experience. Seeking the best in
underused talent. Do you want to be a film actor? If you don't have enough
money to retire, consider this project. Project is both comedic and dramatic.
It's smart, creative, challenging and for the brave only. Simultaneously
heartfelt, raunchy, uplifting, thought provoking. If you are a make it
happen type of person please confirm you are available to shoot asap.
If your goal is to be a film actor, welcome.
[ REDACTED ]
Female, Caucasian, 25. Write notes that you want to shoot this week, a
few days a week. NonUnion or FiCore willing only. She's a make it
happen sort. Driven young architect with passion and vision. Open to
magic. Generally happy. Force of nature. Helps to be in decent shape,
healthy person as this takes energy. Must be ok with going with the
flow of scripted and structured improv hybrid. Not like an improv class or loud,
stage performance. Sweet, smart, patient, helpful, focused emerging pro
actress with integrity and drive.
Will not send you the script. Action time: Here we go...
I literally stopped reading at "macroheart." I'm sorry, I don't think I'm being a Grinch by asking people to be as professional as I am about making a feature film. This is the stupidest of the stupid I have seen in quite a while (the breakdown, not your post.) Won't send the script? "Structured improv hybrid"?!(Which kinda sounds like a really rad car) WTF?! I would advise whomever put this out as a breakdown to back to art/film school and learn the business of Hollywood, or go to Kansas and open up a wonderfully awesome experimental community theater in their garage for kids aged 6-12.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you feel as angry about this as I do. It's a business. If you want to make a film, be professional.
ReplyDeleteLira, you almost gave me a bloody heart attack! Please don't ever title another post 'I don't understand' and start it with 'This is a real breakdown.' It might be a second language thing but my heart just really skipped a beat because you did have me worried there for a second...
ReplyDeleteThat said, gee wizz and WTF and for real?
Oh, Ophelia! I'm so sorry! Breakdowns here in the states have two meanings too: the nervous kind, which means a person is jumping off the deep end, and the LA kind - where the characters from scripts are broken down to snippets by casting directors so agents can submit their talent to the "Breakdowns." It might be two words, actually, but nevertheless, so sorry to have you scared and worried!
ReplyDeletexoxo!
I'm right there with you with "I don't Understand." And I don't understand oh so many things. You said in one of your comments, "It's a business" and "be professional" Two things that for whatever reason, people seem to forget.
ReplyDeleteWhat a huge diservice they are doing to themselves and whatever poor actress they find to work on this.
I think I'm more upset about the lack of professionalism, I'm finding it more and mroe prevalent lately and its making want to hurt someone. Or several people. Since when did we go from being actors to your willing puppets. UGH!
i saw this breakdown the other day, too. i am one who reads the breakdowns with lots of optimism and positivity (sometimes too much) towards all those that are gutsy enough to get out there and create work. but i read this and instantly thought "go f**k yourself."
ReplyDeletethe sad thing is that they will get a TON of submissions. you said it perfectly: "good luck with your project."
Yep, I saw this, too. WTF!?
ReplyDeleteHilariously enough, I went to an "audition" the other day for something that sounded good, and once I met the guy, it turned out to be something like this. He offered me the job, of course, after bamboozling me with how "awesome" it was going to be and what a great "opportunity" it was. I almost said yes. SO GLAD I DIDN'T!