Oy Vey

The Struggling Actress runs into all kinds of bizarre breakdowns. I submitted for one in particular, and received this note:

Hello,

I would like to thank you for your submission. We have gone thru literary thousands of them and some folks including you just pop right off the page; that is why we are contacting you. Certainly you do have a look that fit our theme; you capture attention quickly. In this world of sound bites that really important. And as you know this is a 2 to 3 minute performance. There are several routes that we could take to determine our final talent. One we could select from the folks submitted and endorsed by friends, family members, co-workers, folks in church, folks at my kids’ school, and every neighbor knows just the right person. But that would be counter to our title: “It’s not who you know; but who knows you.” Or we could ask everyone over for a formal audition. But I really don’t want to take 2 hours out of your day and we’ll probably be very impressed with the live person and it just does not recreate itself on tape. Low budget productions with big dreams had better get it right the first time.

Solution (old school), I’m asking that you send me a videotaped monologue of your choice. Please I’m begging you to simply capture my attention for 2-3 minutes. Performing two contrasting monologues [Two completely different characters from two different plays and play genres] is even better; but the complete performance must be under three minutes and not less than 2 minutes.

You may not have this material in the can. Simple solution; shoot it with a handy digital camera upload it and get it on desk. I promise to view every submission before making a final decision. I don’t care about the camera work or lighting as long as I can see you new those lines and you performed.

Secondly, and most important I am not interested in scenes completed with other actors. I need to see you holding your own and keeping all eyes on you for at least two minutes.

Can every actor out there that has made a name for them by mastering the craft do that? I think they can, and they could do it before you knew their names; it’s who knows you. You do it and if you don’t get love here you will get love in this industry.

I thank you for listening to my diatribe and do look forward to your video submission.

We are accepting submissions up to April 25, 2009 so there’s time, but will start call backs to all that create excitement immediately.