"The label you give yourself cannot impact external forces that are not motivated by your own psychology or influenced by a third party's pre-existing consciousness of you. We are all presented with reasons to struggle which come from completely external forces; to pretend that one is not struggling is either arrogance or an admission of defeat. To admit that one is struggling is a sign and a source of strength." - Evan A. Baker

Friday, September 6, 2013


I kinda took some time off from blogging to clear my head, clear my thoughts. There's been a lot of change, and yet, there hasn't been any at all.

As my husband and I get closer to our D(etermination) Day in Jan 2014 where we will discuss when we should start trying for a family, I've been....excited and tremendously scared. I'd be out of the acting game for around a year, and to be honest, I'm scared of that. But I'm also excited.

I've spoken to actresses with children, and they always, always say how much better their life is because they're no longer focused so much on their career - that looking after their child gives them a sense of clarity and understanding that they don't need to sweat the small stuff, and time with no auditions is different than it was before.

So, although yes, I'm tremendously scared, I'm also excited. A new adventure with a man who makes my heart so incredibly warm and who is so clearly meant to be a father.

Of course, that time is still far away. There are still things to do. And there are things that I've done:
I cleaned house and got a new manager, theatrical rep, commercial rep, and new commercial headshots. I changed my hair from red to dark brown. I was hired as a staff writer for a weekly sketch show at Improv Olympic. I watched the paramedics take my trembling mother to the hospital.

I'm mentally and emotionally preparing for the next few chapters, which might mean very different things from what I originally planned.

We'll see. We'll see.

All I know is that things will change, and yet, things won't change at all.

Keep on keeping on.


1 comment:

  1. Fantastic if you get pregnant you will now have value added commercially as a real mom and your son or toughed will allow you to get real mother w/child roles commercially.


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