"The label you give yourself cannot impact external forces that are not motivated by your own psychology or influenced by a third party's pre-existing consciousness of you. We are all presented with reasons to struggle which come from completely external forces; to pretend that one is not struggling is either arrogance or an admission of defeat. To admit that one is struggling is a sign and a source of strength." - Evan A. Baker

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Shh! I Can't Talk About It!

Had an audition on Monday morning for a commercial I had to sign a non-disclosure agreement for. So I won't tell you what the product is, but I can still tell you what happened.

I had to look like I was 30 and capable of having two small children. And kinda fashionable, I think. I wasn't sure.

This was my first SAG audition where I had lines! I was so excited! I had four rather long lines detailing the product. I made sure to punch up the features, and nod to where I would pretend for them to be. I was prepared! I was ready!

I got to the audition and the casting director says, "Guys, they really want you to improv everything. Don't stick to the script at all. Be funnier than what's on the page."

It wasn't a full on panic attack, but my heart did quicken.

IMPROV?! I suck at improv! Or at least, I claim to, because there's a whole bunch of rules in improv that I don't know, and whenever I watch my friend Eric perform, I'm always so proud of what he does, because I could never in my life think up the stuff he does and am too terrified to try. I always need time to think about stuff beforehand.

I had three minutes.

I came up with my stuff, was called in, and did my audition.

They laughed. So, that was good.

Then the director said, "That was great. Can you do it again, but different?"

Okay, I have no idea what the hell that means. And I've done auditions before where I just nod stupidly and do what I THINK they meant, but it never is. And I've learned that it's okay to sound like an idiot and ask questions about what they specifically want, because if I don't, I won't know what they want, and I won't give it to them. And then I don't book. Or get called back.

So I asked, and I sounded stupid because I said, okay, I did it like this, but do you want it like this, or like this (not being able to write about it specifically is a little challenging, no?)? And the director responded with, "I'm sorry, I'm not directing well." Which I hated, because even though I'm sure he meant it, all I heard was "You're an idiot so I'm going to disparage me so you feel better about yourself." because yes, even this struggling actress can be ragingly insecure.

I'll paraphrase what he said next, by saying that he wanted the same character I was doing, but different improv'ed words.

Ooooooh! I get it!

My second one wasn't as strong as my first because I was caught off guard at having to come up with new stuff on the spot, but still went well. The casting director complimented me, saying I was very talented. (me?! thank you1!) and that I was also the best dressed they had seen all morning.

Sure, it was only 45 minutes into their day of auditioning, but that felt awesome!

Callbacks are on the 19th.  It's not for just one commercial, but possibly up to 3...

Please, please keep your fingers crossed for me. :)


  1. I"ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you. And I seriously doubt you suck at improv. Funny people never suck at improv.

  2. Sounds like it went well. Fingers crossed & good vibes sent your way.

  3. You go girl!!
    Break a leg at that callback!!

  4. Fingers officially crossed! Go get 'em!!

  5. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!


Play nice.