A Difficult Decision

Over the last few months, I considered firing my theatrical agent.

I didn't because I LOVED my agent. He was so incredibly sweet, charming, he remembered my name and welcomed me with a hug whenever I dropped by the office to say hi.  This is a guy with some top tier talent, and yet would always take a few minutes to stop what he was doing and give me some face time to catch up.

I adored this guy.

But the agency wasn't getting me out.

Last November, I said to my agent, submit me for the small stuff - I want to work! I am not above co-star roles - but the problem was that even though I wasn't above it, the agency was. It was a waste of their time to submit me for anything smaller than a guest star role; they have a reputation in this town and they need to uphold it.

So I wasn't going out. Still.

And I haven't been able to financially contribute into my household like I thought I would be able to when I signed with them almost two years ago.

So I made the decision: I had to part ways.

I wanted to do it in person.

But I knew I would start crying. This relationship wasn't business; it was personal. He meant a lot to me - he believed in me at a time when no one else did.

I then wanted to do it over the phone.

But I just couldn't do that either.

So I wrote a letter, feeling like a coward, letting him know that it was time for me to see where other avenues could take me.

I've written drop letters before. I point out why I'm leaving in a robotic business style, devoid of any emotions or feelings.

This was not that.

I cried while writing it.

I mailed it on Tuesday.

Yesterday, I got a voicemail from him, and true to his character, he said that he had gotten my letter, that he was sorry that he couldn't do more for me, and that he wanted to wish me all the best at least over the phone, and to please call him.

So I did. He picked up immediately when his assistant told him I was on the line, and he continued to say nice things; that I have a huge talent, that things will happen for me, that he will always be a friend, that he will always answer my call, that his door will always be open.

I know there aren't many agents like him, and I wish I had a reason to stay with him - but at this time in my career, I was still too small for the agency.

It was a difficult decision, but I have to see what else is out there; I have to grow.

I might not have him as an agent anymore, but I do honestly believe that I will always have him as a friend. 

In this town, that's extremely rare.