Taking Advantage of Actors

If you live in LA and need money, the easiest thing to do is take advantage of actors. We have stars in our eyes, our head in the clouds, and SAG background vouchers to earn! In fact, one time, the Love of My Life, was parking his car along Ventura Blvd when someone started rapping on his window.
"You! You are going to have a great year! Very lucky! Make a lot of money! You are very lucky! Congratulations!"
Confused, he walked out to better understand this guy, who kept nodding and saying, "Yes, come with me, you have a very lucky year ahead! I'm psychic! I know these things! Come do a reading!" And before Love of My Life could protest, he continued, "You're an actor, yes?"

Cause actors are easy marks.

I was in second grade when a kid named Julio and a few of his friends came up to me at lunch. We weren't in the same class so it was extremely strange for him to come up the table I was sitting at and say, "You're pretty." We didn't know each other at all. Then he smiled and said, "Pretty ugly."

I've been wary of compliments from people I don't know ever since.

And I just received this email:

Dear Lira,

Congratulations! Jen here, and your blog, The Struggling Actress, is a
Master Blog of Performance Arts!

We've scoured the web looking for amazing blogs that not only are great in
content, but informative and helpful when needed.  And we've determined your
blog to be such!  We like to call it a Master of its category!

You can see your blog and others at: [redacted]

As a winner, we honor you by presenting you with an awards badge.  You can
get your badge at the bottom of our winner's page, just to show your readers
that you are a Master.

If you choose to accept or decline to be recognized, please let me know.

Please do not hesitate to call or email if you have any questions.  Again,
Congratulations, and keep up the awesome work!

Cheers,
Jen [redacted]

Here's what's weird - "Jen here..." Hi Jen. I don't know you. And who starts a professional email like that?
"scoured the web" More like Google searched.
And since they gave me a link, I went to it. 46 actor/film related blogs. That's like what, three Google pages? I mean, come on. And none of them were hyperlinked. It was just a really lazy example of:

Trying to get free advertising. (The little "blog award" is a button that says "Master Blogger!" which is linked directly to their own website to try and sell you online classes.) 




Because creating a blog button, Googling three pages of actor/film blogs and then getting 46 bloggers to advertise for them for free could go out to 1,000+ potential readers for simply taking all of what, 20 minutes of work?


But we actors love flattery. We'll take it when we don't know where it comes from or why, because we're a touch narcissistic and every character we portray starts with "Why do I do that?" Everything is about us.

But be wary. People will find ways to exploit you so that THEY can make money. (Case in point: gratuitous nudity. But that is a topic for another day. )

Just be wise to it. If you're an actor in LA, and Especially if you're a NEW actor, you will lose $200 at the bare minimum from people trying to rip you off and take advantage. Always be careful. And safe.

Oh Yeah!

On my way to a commercial audition I realized, "Oh yeah! I'm on Television tonight!"

Will I be watching it, champagne in hand, surrounded by reveling friends? Nope. I'll be in acting class tonight. And that feels good. Commercial Audition --> Acting Class --> On Television.

But if you're interested, and if you want to sip champagne while you watch, Check out Animal Planet. "The Lost Tapes: Poltergeist" will be playing on the West Coast at 10:30pm. I'm the paraplegic psychic with the really curly hair. Can't miss me.

Random Episode Fact: My first name is an obsolete Italian currency. The lead's last name is Cash. It's like it was meant to be.

Quite the Few Days

I'm finally recovering from one of the most awesome and hardest weeks I've had in a while. I postponed two social engagements and skipped class because I was just too freaking exhausted. And it felt GREAT to be so busy!

Recap?

Okay!

EPIC MONDAY consisted of being on set for 13 hours and acting for 11 of them. Because I was away on vacation in August, the director of the webseries Hollywood & Highland had to schedule the majority of my stuff for the last two days.

Usually on set, my experience has been: arrive, check in, go to makeup/wardrobe, hit up the craft service table (nom nom nom) and hang out in my designated area for a few hours while the other stuff gets done. Then I get to act! And take a ton of breaks.

Epic Monday had me arrive, check in, go to makeup/wardrobe and immediately go to set and work, work, work until lunch, then work, work, work until I was done. And on Monday it was 113 degrees in the valley.

Don't feel bad for me. Feel bad for the crew. They worked longer than I did.

The apartment we shot in had a/c wall units and Director Kevin Fukunaga had the wisdom to take the room tone with the a/c ON so that with the lights, the extra people and the sunlight streaming in from the windows, it never got hotter than 95 degrees. I'm not kidding, if he didn't do that, allowing us to keep the air conditioning on the whole time, it would've been around 130 or higher.

Our poor makeup artist had to keep running around blotting sweat off our upper lips and powdering our faces. I drank three bottles of water and a can of soda and only had to use the restroom once because I kept sweating it all out.

Too much information?

I gotta learn to censor....

The next day we were off from shooting, but I had a callback for a product I signed a confidentiality agreement for and it was at an ad agency that I had been to a few months before where I had to wait two hours to be seen. This was no exception. Ad execs and casting are both in the callback session and they TAKE TOO LONG in the beginning. They give direction, they redirect, they let the improv part go on too long, and I can't tell you how frustrating it is to get the callback notice with the monologue sides only to get to the callback and learn there are new sides, and then FIFTY minutes later are told to ignore the sides you'd been studying the whole time because you're going to improv the whole thing in the room and GET NO PRODUCT INFORMATION UNTIL ONE MINUTE BEFORE YOU GET INTO THE ROOM.

I mean, seriously.

And because they're now an hour and a half behind schedule, and actors are in the lobby calling their agents, they are now RUSHING through the rest of us.

"They might have second callbacks two hours from now too, so please be around."

I almost banged my head against the wall. This is an hour away from my apartment. If I don't stick around, they could call me when I'm almost home and it'd take me another hour to get back.

FINE. I audition, they tell us to hang around, I go a nearby mall, but I don't have any band-aids for my fancy shoes and there aren't any place selling flipflops so I get into my car and drive home cause I also have class in an hour and need to leave NOW.

Traffic on the 405 at this time of day is terrible, so I take the side street Sepulveda, where they are doing road construction. I'm exhausted. I'm cranky. I only had a single piece of toast for breakfast 4 1/2 hours earlier because I didn't think it would take me so long to get home. I have low blood sugar.

I am at the point where if you just happened to glance at me, I would take it as an insult and sob hysterically.

I call my acting coach letting him know I have to skip class because my brain and body are just too tired to learn. I rain check my friend who I was supposed to meet after class to check out her new place because I have to learn my lines for the scenes I'm shooting the next day.

I finally get home. I can barely function.

AND ALL BECAUSE I GOT TO ACT THE ENTIRE DAY BEFORE AND HAD A SECOND JOB INTERVIEW FOR AN ACTING JOB THAT DAY.

I'm tired, but feel very lucky.

The next day on set is not as hot and we're way more relaxed. Things are still going smoothly as we finish the last of my scenes, one of which is where I get a sandwich thrown at me. We did this 20 times. They kept saying I was a trooper, but seriously, getting a sandwich thrown at you is FUN! And it's funny! And I would rather be taped getting sandwiches thrown at me than serving them to people for lunch. I can't wait for the behind the scenes footage I know our director will cut together featuring every take of that. Yippee!

In the last scene we shoot, I'm on the phone and we use my actual phone for it, so in between takes and set-ups, I can take a picture or two.

Want to know what you see when you're an actress on a small set?

Lights! Camera! Boom Mike!

So today is catch up with life day. I get to pay bills, schedule playdates, write and go to the gym!

I'm almost caught up. :)

You Try to Make Sense of Health Insurance

So you graduate from school with a degree in pretend and move to LA. Awesome! Now you need a part-time job which will allow you keep your days open so you can go to auditions. You interview at a restaurant, are hired and look over your manual. They only give insurance to those who have worked over a year at a consistent 30 hours a week. You are consistently scheduled for 20 hours a week. You scrape by.

You are non-union. Then you become Aftra. Awesome, good job! But you don't work enough Aftra hours to become eligible for their insurance.

You get sick.

You don't go to the hospital because that's expensive. You don't even have a primary physician, so whatever, you know? Who cares.

You get worse.

You get strep.

Now you have to go to the hospital or the emergency care center so that you can get checked out and tested for what you already know you have because you had it just a few months ago; you can barely move, only want to sleep, and it hurts to talk, swallow and even breathe. Your ears hurt too.

You pay the $80 to see the doctor and get the prescription for what seems like a simple antibiotic. But it aint simple. It's $60.

So what are you? You're an uninsured, starving artist who can't get enough work to qualify for insurance, and aren't making enough to buy it on your own. Then you get sick, miss work, and now have a gaping hole in your wallet.

Oh, and your fiance is also a freelance artist, meaning there's no insurance plan for you to marry into either.

And that is why you are excited about the new federal health care plan, even though you don't really know what it is, except that you will most likely be able to afford some sort of plan, or even, (Awesomesauce!) check ups and vaccines might be Free!

So you find a video that clears up a lot of questions and pass it along to all your starving artist friends.  Cause you're cool like that.

Eeeek! How Did I Not Know About This!?

After I book my next commercial (hey, three callbacks from the last four auditions I had...I'm on a streak and oughta book something soon!) I am booking myself a Happy Hour Blowout!

Dry Bar JUST opened in Studio City a few days ago (literally, three!) and if I schedule my appointment between 5-9, I get a complimentary cocktail with my straightening! And it's only $35!!

This isn't a sponsored post (but, oh, how I wish it were!) and I'll definitely take pictures of my before and after!

Oooh! I want the Southern Comfort.

And look! You can get giftcards for your friends!











Also, I need a root touch up. Can anyone recommend their favorite drug-store brand?

I'm Famous in Japan

A while back, I got an email from someone asking me for some personal information like my birthday and what schools I went to so that he could create a wiki page for me because he was shocked I didn't have one.

I was shocked he thought I needed one.

After some off sounding emails, I did some digging and realized oh! He's not trying to steal my identity! He's just European!

I'm kinda big there. My huge television debut, "What Should You Do?" (not a game show, despite Leeza Gibbons hosting) sold overseas, and god knows how many other recreated events shows I did ended up across the pond as well.

And all the way over to the Land of the Rising Sun!

Someone in Nippon loves me. See?

Yeah. I'm kind of baffled too. But appreciative, none the less!

Hmmm

Bright Orange Swirls? Is anyone else dreaming of creamsicles? I'd visit my grandmother and she usually had fudge popsicles, which were also great, but man, did I love it when she had creamsicles....

I'm still trying to hop around the internet seeing if there's a template out there I'll like. I'm not so sure I'm feeling this.

What are you feeling?

But I Love Him!

I developed a crush on nerdy cute George Michael in "Arrested Development," before I learned how old Michael Cera was. When I finally discovered he was like, 16 at the time, I realized in sadness that I was a pedophile.

But seriously, I still remember the opening of the brilliant series:  Jason Baton as the dad said, "what's the most important thing?" and Michael Cera answers "Breakfast." That just seriously cracked me up and I was in love with him and the show.

So of course I thought THIS was hilarious.

The "BEST" Headshots

Info@actingnews.biz somehow got my email address and sent me the following:

Hey Actors!

Here are a few companies you should check out!

HEADSHOTS! Actors are saying this pictures are the best in town. 50 dollars per look with a free retouch. Take a look at this website! http://www.fiveminutephotos.com/ 

PLEASE click on the link! Oh, for the LOVE of god, please click on the link! and click on the "women".

First off, if you're going to claim randomly that a non-named group of "actors" are "saying" these photos are "the best in town," did they just move here? And why aren't you proofreading your ad?

The lighting is terrible, and why on earth did they crop all those pictures to look like mugshots? You could take a better, more flattering picture of yourself by yourself! Remember myspace? We ALL know how to take great pictures of ourselves!

Ugh.

File this under CRAP.

And go see my friend Tanya instead.

Update Your Wardrobe!

Every struggling actress needs to keep updating her wardrobe in order to look current for commercial auditions so that it looks like she's working and making money. Keeping up appearances is expensive!

But this weekend JC Penny is having a sale!! Go get em!

CLICK HERE NOW!