Oh Dear Ones,
The Project I Couldn't Talk About has callbacks tomorrow, and alas, it is 5:11 and I have not been notified that I have been invited back.
Uncross your fingers. I'm calling it. No Callback.
Sad emoticon.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Shh! I Can't Talk About It!
Had an audition on Monday morning for a commercial I had to sign a non-disclosure agreement for. So I won't tell you what the product is, but I can still tell you what happened.
I had to look like I was 30 and capable of having two small children. And kinda fashionable, I think. I wasn't sure.
This was my first SAG audition where I had lines! I was so excited! I had four rather long lines detailing the product. I made sure to punch up the features, and nod to where I would pretend for them to be. I was prepared! I was ready!
I got to the audition and the casting director says, "Guys, they really want you to improv everything. Don't stick to the script at all. Be funnier than what's on the page."
It wasn't a full on panic attack, but my heart did quicken.
IMPROV?! I suck at improv! Or at least, I claim to, because there's a whole bunch of rules in improv that I don't know, and whenever I watch my friend Eric perform, I'm always so proud of what he does, because I could never in my life think up the stuff he does and am too terrified to try. I always need time to think about stuff beforehand.
I had three minutes.
I came up with my stuff, was called in, and did my audition.
They laughed. So, that was good.
Then the director said, "That was great. Can you do it again, but different?"
Okay, I have no idea what the hell that means. And I've done auditions before where I just nod stupidly and do what I THINK they meant, but it never is. And I've learned that it's okay to sound like an idiot and ask questions about what they specifically want, because if I don't, I won't know what they want, and I won't give it to them. And then I don't book. Or get called back.
So I asked, and I sounded stupid because I said, okay, I did it like this, but do you want it like this, or like this (not being able to write about it specifically is a little challenging, no?)? And the director responded with, "I'm sorry, I'm not directing well." Which I hated, because even though I'm sure he meant it, all I heard was "You're an idiot so I'm going to disparage me so you feel better about yourself." because yes, even this struggling actress can be ragingly insecure.
I'll paraphrase what he said next, by saying that he wanted the same character I was doing, but different improv'ed words.
Ooooooh! I get it!
My second one wasn't as strong as my first because I was caught off guard at having to come up with new stuff on the spot, but still went well. The casting director complimented me, saying I was very talented. (me?! thank you1!) and that I was also the best dressed they had seen all morning.
Sure, it was only 45 minutes into their day of auditioning, but that felt awesome!
Callbacks are on the 19th. It's not for just one commercial, but possibly up to 3...
Please, please keep your fingers crossed for me. :)
I had to look like I was 30 and capable of having two small children. And kinda fashionable, I think. I wasn't sure.
This was my first SAG audition where I had lines! I was so excited! I had four rather long lines detailing the product. I made sure to punch up the features, and nod to where I would pretend for them to be. I was prepared! I was ready!
I got to the audition and the casting director says, "Guys, they really want you to improv everything. Don't stick to the script at all. Be funnier than what's on the page."
It wasn't a full on panic attack, but my heart did quicken.
IMPROV?! I suck at improv! Or at least, I claim to, because there's a whole bunch of rules in improv that I don't know, and whenever I watch my friend Eric perform, I'm always so proud of what he does, because I could never in my life think up the stuff he does and am too terrified to try. I always need time to think about stuff beforehand.
I had three minutes.
I came up with my stuff, was called in, and did my audition.
They laughed. So, that was good.
Then the director said, "That was great. Can you do it again, but different?"
Okay, I have no idea what the hell that means. And I've done auditions before where I just nod stupidly and do what I THINK they meant, but it never is. And I've learned that it's okay to sound like an idiot and ask questions about what they specifically want, because if I don't, I won't know what they want, and I won't give it to them. And then I don't book. Or get called back.
So I asked, and I sounded stupid because I said, okay, I did it like this, but do you want it like this, or like this (not being able to write about it specifically is a little challenging, no?)? And the director responded with, "I'm sorry, I'm not directing well." Which I hated, because even though I'm sure he meant it, all I heard was "You're an idiot so I'm going to disparage me so you feel better about yourself." because yes, even this struggling actress can be ragingly insecure.
I'll paraphrase what he said next, by saying that he wanted the same character I was doing, but different improv'ed words.
Ooooooh! I get it!
My second one wasn't as strong as my first because I was caught off guard at having to come up with new stuff on the spot, but still went well. The casting director complimented me, saying I was very talented. (me?! thank you1!) and that I was also the best dressed they had seen all morning.
Sure, it was only 45 minutes into their day of auditioning, but that felt awesome!
Callbacks are on the 19th. It's not for just one commercial, but possibly up to 3...
Please, please keep your fingers crossed for me. :)
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Orange You Glad You Went To Chapman?
I love booking from headshots! I really do! It's so simple! I click "submit," and then I get a call saying, "Yes! We want to pay you! We can tell we love you just from your photo!"
And I always think the same thing: "Thank you Photoshop CS3!"
I booked a Hair Care gig that shoots aaaaall the way in Orange, (at roughly 36 miles, it is sometimes a 2 hour drive.) But I got my major in pretend in Orange, so I actually love going there because I drive down Katella, or Tustin, or heck, Shoppertainment, and I am flooded with memories. Like:
There's my old job at the Ugly Mug!
There's that cuban restaurant Eric would take me to!
There's the do-it-yourself car wash where Jen and I would speed wash her car!
It's fun to go back and relive my college days. (which were like, cough, cough, only a year ago, hack!) I made a lot of great friends there. I grew a lot there. I discovered a lot about life and love there. And I'm especially thankful for my senior year there. I was in love and surrounded and supported by dear, dear friends.
And I still am. And it's funny sometimes that it takes me a direct headshot booking to remember that.
Thank you, friends. Thank you.
And I always think the same thing: "Thank you Photoshop CS3!"
I booked a Hair Care gig that shoots aaaaall the way in Orange, (at roughly 36 miles, it is sometimes a 2 hour drive.) But I got my major in pretend in Orange, so I actually love going there because I drive down Katella, or Tustin, or heck, Shoppertainment, and I am flooded with memories. Like:
There's my old job at the Ugly Mug!
There's that cuban restaurant Eric would take me to!
There's the do-it-yourself car wash where Jen and I would speed wash her car!
It's fun to go back and relive my college days. (which were like, cough, cough, only a year ago, hack!) I made a lot of great friends there. I grew a lot there. I discovered a lot about life and love there. And I'm especially thankful for my senior year there. I was in love and surrounded and supported by dear, dear friends.
And I still am. And it's funny sometimes that it takes me a direct headshot booking to remember that.
Thank you, friends. Thank you.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
A Slight Girl Crush
One of the fun things about working in a restaurant is you are always surrounded by other actors. And some of them turn out to be incredibly fascinating.
Take for instance, Michael. His last theatre gig was at the Pantages. The Pantages! He had offered this tidbit of information right before I said that I hate Shakespeare. So, you know, crickets. I think he had even stopped talking to me at that point...
Go ahead, judge me. Every one does. But it's okay. All the Shakespeare I've seen has just been godawful. Archaic language that no one even understands anymore (you can't blindly go in to a Shakespearean play and expect to follow without having your brows furrowed. Polar Bear, please don't hate! ) And if you do a Billy S comedy, the physical humor has to be so incredibly exaggerated, just so we know we're supposed to be laughing. Ick. No thanks.
At any rate, a coworker found me on FB and then asked everyone to go over her new website. I clicked on it, and wow.
First off, Jamie Dix is sweet as sweet can be, and is actually really smart. Two qualities I absolutely adore in people. She's done theatre here in LA! She sings! She acts! She produces! She has awesome pictures! Her website is fun!
I told her I had a slight girly crush on her. ...I think I might've scared her. I should really use something else to describe that I only want to know more about what she's done, and where she is here in life. I bet I could learn a few things from her. I want to sit with her over coffee. I want to go over her production notes. I want her to come with us to karaoke so I can listen to her sing.
New interesting people are fun!
I'm excited to learn more.
Take for instance, Michael. His last theatre gig was at the Pantages. The Pantages! He had offered this tidbit of information right before I said that I hate Shakespeare. So, you know, crickets. I think he had even stopped talking to me at that point...
Go ahead, judge me. Every one does. But it's okay. All the Shakespeare I've seen has just been godawful. Archaic language that no one even understands anymore (you can't blindly go in to a Shakespearean play and expect to follow without having your brows furrowed. Polar Bear, please don't hate! ) And if you do a Billy S comedy, the physical humor has to be so incredibly exaggerated, just so we know we're supposed to be laughing. Ick. No thanks.
At any rate, a coworker found me on FB and then asked everyone to go over her new website. I clicked on it, and wow.
First off, Jamie Dix is sweet as sweet can be, and is actually really smart. Two qualities I absolutely adore in people. She's done theatre here in LA! She sings! She acts! She produces! She has awesome pictures! Her website is fun!
I told her I had a slight girly crush on her. ...I think I might've scared her. I should really use something else to describe that I only want to know more about what she's done, and where she is here in life. I bet I could learn a few things from her. I want to sit with her over coffee. I want to go over her production notes. I want her to come with us to karaoke so I can listen to her sing.
New interesting people are fun!
I'm excited to learn more.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Trying to Stay Positive
Spoke to two other actor friends last night who are also looking for theatrical representation and also unsuccessful. Sigh. Anyone want to recommend one? I'm running out of ideas. I had even posted a blurb on Facebook, looking for love/hate stories about people's agents, but I forget that not everyone is an actor, as two out of the three people who replied griped about their real estate agent.
I didn't talk much about the day on set of "Post Partum Depression." It was a lot of costume changes, I remember that. But most of the day was spent changing clothes and crying while holding a fake baby. This is what I got a degree in pretend for, folks! I was great. And we finished right on time. Because we were going so fast, I again, didn't ask anyone to take my photo, which is such a bummer. Ah, well.
Have a non-union audition tomorrow for Overstock.com. Should be fun! Especially since, I kid you not, I am going for a "pregnant young mom." What is it about my headshots that scream Festering Child In Womb? I rush off from work and zoom over there. I have to look "hip and trendy," which I am not, and always takes me forever to figure out how I can do that based on my wardrobe. I am so not hip and trendy.
I also am phasing out my dell laptop for a Mac mini desktop computer. Instead of writing everything on my couch, I'm now on a desk! I've had a few hiccups trying to figure things out, like, my transferred docs not saving (restarting the computer fixed that) but now it's not printing. I'm not frustrated, not yet, but if this is what life is going to be like for the next week, I'm going to scream.
Also, I see that Pages has a screenwriting template, but so far as I know, the keyboard shortcuts are not at all like Final Draft, and that is making me very sad.
But gosh darn it, I am trying to stay positive!
I might go sing my troubles away with Glow tonight. And that thought makes me happy. And cookies with Phoenix and the Boys Whom We Adore is gonna happen one of these days. Our opposing schedules almost seem to be at war with one another. Truce, Tracy! Truce!
I didn't talk much about the day on set of "Post Partum Depression." It was a lot of costume changes, I remember that. But most of the day was spent changing clothes and crying while holding a fake baby. This is what I got a degree in pretend for, folks! I was great. And we finished right on time. Because we were going so fast, I again, didn't ask anyone to take my photo, which is such a bummer. Ah, well.
Have a non-union audition tomorrow for Overstock.com. Should be fun! Especially since, I kid you not, I am going for a "pregnant young mom." What is it about my headshots that scream Festering Child In Womb? I rush off from work and zoom over there. I have to look "hip and trendy," which I am not, and always takes me forever to figure out how I can do that based on my wardrobe. I am so not hip and trendy.
I also am phasing out my dell laptop for a Mac mini desktop computer. Instead of writing everything on my couch, I'm now on a desk! I've had a few hiccups trying to figure things out, like, my transferred docs not saving (restarting the computer fixed that) but now it's not printing. I'm not frustrated, not yet, but if this is what life is going to be like for the next week, I'm going to scream.
Also, I see that Pages has a screenwriting template, but so far as I know, the keyboard shortcuts are not at all like Final Draft, and that is making me very sad.
But gosh darn it, I am trying to stay positive!
I might go sing my troubles away with Glow tonight. And that thought makes me happy. And cookies with Phoenix and the Boys Whom We Adore is gonna happen one of these days. Our opposing schedules almost seem to be at war with one another. Truce, Tracy! Truce!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Free Agent?
I just got new headshots printed to 8x10's, and I was thinking about all the postage I'd have to spend when doing a submission and my head started spinning.
I happened to be at an audition that was right next door to Orion Barnes Talent Agency, and noticed on their door that they take drop off submissions. Hell's yeah!
So, make it easy on yourself, attach your resume and headshot and leave your submission to Orion Barnes or Tony Ferrar at:
13731Ventura Blvd.
Ste. D
Sherman Oaks, CA 91423
USA
The door is small, but once you go up the flight of steep stairs, you'll see a box with "Orion Talent Submissions," on the left and plunk down your headshot.
If you know of any other places that allows drop offs, please email me at lirakellerman
@yahoo.com so we can share the love!
As always, good luck!
I happened to be at an audition that was right next door to Orion Barnes Talent Agency, and noticed on their door that they take drop off submissions. Hell's yeah!
So, make it easy on yourself, attach your resume and headshot and leave your submission to Orion Barnes or Tony Ferrar at:
13731Ventura Blvd.
Ste. D
Sherman Oaks, CA 91423
USA
The door is small, but once you go up the flight of steep stairs, you'll see a box with "Orion Talent Submissions," on the left and plunk down your headshot.
If you know of any other places that allows drop offs, please email me at lirakellerman
@yahoo.com so we can share the love!
As always, good luck!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
An Open Letter to the CoWorker Who Stole $80 From My Purse
Dear Fellow CoWorker:
Okay, yes, at first I was angry, because hey! That's MY money! And I need that money! That's why I had it in the first place. I worked hard to get it, and allow myself only a certain amount of cash on me as an allowance to myself.
But I get it. Times are really frikkin hard right now. This is probably not your only job. You probably do not have any days off. You probably work more than 12 hours a day all week just to survive. You most likely have a child or two, and you are praying to God that you or them do not get sick because you have no health insurance, that you can't afford the time off to care for them, and cannot afford to not work as much and as hard as you do.
You might have family elsewhere who are even worse off than you are. You might have maxed out all your credit cards. You must be at your wits end. Because you went into the locker room, opened the lockers, found my purse, took it out, found my wallet, opened it and took the cash all with the door open and in plain view of anyone who walked into the dish station, which is all the time. You could've been caught red handed, but you risked all this because you probably do not have any other choice right now.
I'm sure this makes you feel tremendous guilt, that if you only had more money, you wouldn't have to do this. I understand how you feel. I'm having a bit of a financial crisis myself.
But I do have enough room on my credit card to buy a lock. I hope you understand.
All the best,
Lira
Okay, yes, at first I was angry, because hey! That's MY money! And I need that money! That's why I had it in the first place. I worked hard to get it, and allow myself only a certain amount of cash on me as an allowance to myself.
But I get it. Times are really frikkin hard right now. This is probably not your only job. You probably do not have any days off. You probably work more than 12 hours a day all week just to survive. You most likely have a child or two, and you are praying to God that you or them do not get sick because you have no health insurance, that you can't afford the time off to care for them, and cannot afford to not work as much and as hard as you do.
You might have family elsewhere who are even worse off than you are. You might have maxed out all your credit cards. You must be at your wits end. Because you went into the locker room, opened the lockers, found my purse, took it out, found my wallet, opened it and took the cash all with the door open and in plain view of anyone who walked into the dish station, which is all the time. You could've been caught red handed, but you risked all this because you probably do not have any other choice right now.
I'm sure this makes you feel tremendous guilt, that if you only had more money, you wouldn't have to do this. I understand how you feel. I'm having a bit of a financial crisis myself.
But I do have enough room on my credit card to buy a lock. I hope you understand.
All the best,
Lira
Monday, November 2, 2009
An Actor's Car Checklist
At my callback today, New Actor from our first audition was also there! Hello, I said to him. Hello, he said back. Hey, he continued, Can I borrow some change for the meter?
So here is your Actor Car Checklist!
1) Small notebook to log your miles, gas, car maintenence, parking meters, meals, and gifts for every audition you go on. Go to an audition 10 miles away and bought a caramel frapp for $3.50? Keep track! It's tax deductable!
2) Pens. You'd be surprised how your car is actually your office.
3) Change. For Meters. Lots of change.
4) Extra headshots/resumes. Cause you never know. Stick a few business cards in there. A dvd of your reel and some headshots on there too. YOU NEVER KNOW.
5) Thomas Guide. Unless you have a Navigator, or a Smartphone.
6) Ladies - some Lady items. You know what I'm saying.
7) Dance music to groove to when you rock out an awesome audition.
8) Food. Be it crackers, frosted mini-wheats, or pop-tarts, because sometimes you get hungry.
9) Water. Staying hydrated is awesome!
10) Window shades. Cause it's November and it's 80 degrees. Keep em in there year round.
11) Mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, lip gloss, tissues. Because sometimes you'll have a gig for a union show and they WON'T TELL YOU TO COME CAMERA READY. Happened to me, so now I always carry it with me.
12) napkins/tissues/wetnaps. Cause fingers get messy
13) anti bacterial stuff.
And that's about it. I think. Am I missing anything?
So here is your Actor Car Checklist!
1) Small notebook to log your miles, gas, car maintenence, parking meters, meals, and gifts for every audition you go on. Go to an audition 10 miles away and bought a caramel frapp for $3.50? Keep track! It's tax deductable!
2) Pens. You'd be surprised how your car is actually your office.
3) Change. For Meters. Lots of change.
4) Extra headshots/resumes. Cause you never know. Stick a few business cards in there. A dvd of your reel and some headshots on there too. YOU NEVER KNOW.
5) Thomas Guide. Unless you have a Navigator, or a Smartphone.
6) Ladies - some Lady items. You know what I'm saying.
7) Dance music to groove to when you rock out an awesome audition.
8) Food. Be it crackers, frosted mini-wheats, or pop-tarts, because sometimes you get hungry.
9) Water. Staying hydrated is awesome!
10) Window shades. Cause it's November and it's 80 degrees. Keep em in there year round.
11) Mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, lip gloss, tissues. Because sometimes you'll have a gig for a union show and they WON'T TELL YOU TO COME CAMERA READY. Happened to me, so now I always carry it with me.
12) napkins/tissues/wetnaps. Cause fingers get messy
13) anti bacterial stuff.
And that's about it. I think. Am I missing anything?
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Babies Babies Babies!
Having given birth on Twins By Surprise for the Discovery Health channel, I was pretty excited about my "Untitled Post Partum Series," shoot on Friday, because I knew it meant I would get to hold a BABY!
That sound you hear in the background is indeed the tick tocking of my internal clock, and wow, what a hard day of shooting because as soon as I was done with the giving birth part of the shoot, the director told me that the nurses would put the real live baby on my stomach and that I was not to look at him. To not interract with him. To completely ignore adorable 5 week old Gavin who was crying and screaming because he was naked and smeared with cream cheese and jelly to look like he just shot out of my birth canal. The poor thing! And to ignore him!?
HARDEST ACTING JOB OF MY LIFE! All I wanted to do was hold the poor thing and coo at him that it was okay, that he was fine, and to put a blanket around him and make him warm.
I WANT A BABY!
Sure, I'm only 22 (cough, cough) but gosh, I am really feeling the need to take care of something that is helpless and who needs me. And I should not be feeling this way because I can't even keep a plant alive, so really, I am totally hopeless and should probably never have children....but.....but...
I'm not sure I will ever have children. I am pretty confident I would like one, preferably two, but having a family when I can barely afford new headshots is incredibly disheartening for a struggling actress. Will I always be struggling? Possibly. And now, yes, I might sacrifice a family for my career, but 8 years from now, when I'm 30 (hack! cough! cough!) will I still feel the same way? Ugh. It breaks my heart sometimes to think about it. I could be a struggling actress for the rest of my life, never making enough to properly raise a child in good conscience.
Until then, I will continue to book recreated events shows where I get to pretend to have children, and envy my sister who has 2 kids, who in turn, envies my life sometimes because to her, I'm still "free."
The grass is always greener.
At any rate, I went home after the shoot and came home to discover I got a call back for the Match.com commercial. Hooray! Is there any feeling awesomer than ending a day of filming with finding out you have a callback? Well, okay, yes, it would've been if I had booked it, but whatever, I'll take it! Yeehaw!
I was feeling great that night, happy, successful. At peace.
Then I went to bed and dreamt I had my own baby and was nursing him.
Sigh.
That sound you hear in the background is indeed the tick tocking of my internal clock, and wow, what a hard day of shooting because as soon as I was done with the giving birth part of the shoot, the director told me that the nurses would put the real live baby on my stomach and that I was not to look at him. To not interract with him. To completely ignore adorable 5 week old Gavin who was crying and screaming because he was naked and smeared with cream cheese and jelly to look like he just shot out of my birth canal. The poor thing! And to ignore him!?
HARDEST ACTING JOB OF MY LIFE! All I wanted to do was hold the poor thing and coo at him that it was okay, that he was fine, and to put a blanket around him and make him warm.
I WANT A BABY!
Sure, I'm only 22 (cough, cough) but gosh, I am really feeling the need to take care of something that is helpless and who needs me. And I should not be feeling this way because I can't even keep a plant alive, so really, I am totally hopeless and should probably never have children....but.....but...
I'm not sure I will ever have children. I am pretty confident I would like one, preferably two, but having a family when I can barely afford new headshots is incredibly disheartening for a struggling actress. Will I always be struggling? Possibly. And now, yes, I might sacrifice a family for my career, but 8 years from now, when I'm 30 (hack! cough! cough!) will I still feel the same way? Ugh. It breaks my heart sometimes to think about it. I could be a struggling actress for the rest of my life, never making enough to properly raise a child in good conscience.
Until then, I will continue to book recreated events shows where I get to pretend to have children, and envy my sister who has 2 kids, who in turn, envies my life sometimes because to her, I'm still "free."
The grass is always greener.
At any rate, I went home after the shoot and came home to discover I got a call back for the Match.com commercial. Hooray! Is there any feeling awesomer than ending a day of filming with finding out you have a callback? Well, okay, yes, it would've been if I had booked it, but whatever, I'll take it! Yeehaw!
I was feeling great that night, happy, successful. At peace.
Then I went to bed and dreamt I had my own baby and was nursing him.
Sigh.
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