"The label you give yourself cannot impact external forces that are not motivated by your own psychology or influenced by a third party's pre-existing consciousness of you. We are all presented with reasons to struggle which come from completely external forces; to pretend that one is not struggling is either arrogance or an admission of defeat. To admit that one is struggling is a sign and a source of strength." - Evan A. Baker

Saturday, June 19, 2010

The Weirdest Audition....

I had the strangest audition and wrote about it here, but thought I'd repost it:

I finally found parking on the second story of a small lot, and rushed over to my audition. I had memorized the six pages of sides (three short two page scenes) and was dressed, made up, and feeling fantastic. I head over to a patio area and find about 16 other girls waiting in front of me.
We are outside. And it's hot. "Is there a sign in sheet?" I ask politely to one girl and she replies that there isn't one. Ugh. "What's the wait?" "About two hours."
Two hours!? But I'm dressed, made up, I know the scene inside and out...I guess I'll stay. I don't have much else to do. I sit down.
Suddenly, a guy I hadn't noticed tells me that he's the director and
it shouldn't be much longer, they're just printing scripts for everybody, and that his assistant had to go to Kinko's and he should be back soon. We're just all waiting for the scripts so everyone can have one to audition from.
"We're not auditioning from the sides we were given?"  "No."
I can't stand it. This is now not worth it. It's non-union, low pay. Barf. I get up and walk past the director. "Learn how to run a casting session," I say as I breezed past him.
I'm angry, and yet, can't believe I just said that to someone. Why did I say that!? He'll never call me in again! I just ruined my chances of ever working with that guy again...even if the only thing he knows how to do is waste time.... Hmmm.
I get back to my car and find a parking ticket. Of course. There was a meter in front of my car I didn't notice.
And then I woke up.
I hadn't had an acting anxiety dream in a long time! And they're usually of the "I'm a lead in this play that opens tonight and I forgot to memorize my lines!?" variety. Still trying to dissect it. Thoughts?

 Fellow blogger Sarah was kind enough to interpret:

Dreams are fascinating. I have done quite a bit of studying on different methods of dream interpretation, and while Freud would probably have a lot of things to say about your relationship with your father, it seems to me the main themes in your dream are 1) Confidence (you felt great, you looked great, you were well prepared) 2) Positive Expectations about Yourself (you had done your prep work and had a positive approach to the situation) 3) Frustration when those expectations are let down through no fault of your own (the poorly run casting session and your reaction to it) 4) Feeling guilty for demanding that your expectations be met (the parking ticket is a punishment)
So - very basically - You are working hard for something you really want and deserve, but your efforts are largely going unrewarded. Your unconscious wants to blame it on someone/something else but your conscious mind won't let you because of a fear of somehow being punished for doing so.
Who knows what dreams really are or what they mean :)
 What do you think? Do you have any other thoughts on my dream and what it might mean?

1 comment:

  1. I love the dream interpretation here!! It is amazing how the mind works, the more we figure out, the better control we have over our lives and circumstances! Obviously, a positive entity by nature or the meaning could be twisted and contrived to make someone feel even WORSE about their situation, and their life in general. Now when more of the media uses these tactics to enlighten rather than destroy, the world will be a better place for ALL! KUDOS!


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