However, today is going to be different, as in better, because Lira asked me to stick to a topic. I call my blog "Your Daily Dose" and refer to it as "Blog Therapy." That means that on my actual blog anything goes. But here, today, we are going to tackle ONE topic. Whew. And possibly variations of that one topic.
Lira asked me to share with you why I started blogging. Why you start something and why you continue to do something are not necessarily the same reason. In my case, that is definitely true. I started blogging sporadically, and for fun, on myspace a while ago. As in years. I have had migraines for about ten years now. Seriously bad since 2003. I have been into prescription narcotic drugs, depression, denial, unemployment, living with my parents, and now I am applying for SSD. None of these places have been kind. They have all been enlightening. When I finally accepted that SSD was my last option, that is when I committed to the daily blog. Or as daily as possible. I refused to be just a waste of space. I majored in English. I could still think some of the time, and by God when I could, I would write. People need to feel productive to retain their sanity. Let me rephrase: I needed to have something to keep my sanity. It turns out that it was my blog.
My daily blog started on facebook. My readership was primarily my friends and family. Sometimes. Not all of my friends would read my blog. Doesn't that sh*t piss you off? It did me. Of course, anger only notches
I hope you're laughing right now, because it's hysterical, right? I started writing to maintain my sanity. That is still true. It evolved into a dream of becoming a famous writer of non-fiction short stories, because I never could finish a novel. When the masses didn't come to me I had to change my plan. I still don't understand how to navigate this site. Hand to God, I don't. I found my way via the backdoor into some fantastic sites. I found Phoenix. She was the first blogger who wrote, to my way of thinking, like me. Through her, I found Lira, and the list goes on. I have back doored my way into every good site I have found. It has been dumb luck all the way down the line.
Here's the thing: there are TONS of excellent writers out there who are not getting published. I read the blogs of many of them every day. And here is where my motivation changed yet again. I found writers, published and non-published, on here and they are all teaching me how to become a better writer. (So much so, that I am actually writing a novel. Can you believe it?) The thing that I never expected was the gift of what they give each time they write. I get to read their stories. I look forward to reading the blogs I follow as much as I look forward to writing my own. I never saw that coming! In the beginning, it was all about me. My sanity. My needs. My plans. Those things are still there, but I opened myself up and let all of the wonderful things that they have to offer come in. I didn't expect that when I started this journey. Of course, usually the best parts of any trip are the surprises.
I know that many of you are actors, so I have spent some time thinking about what I could possibly tell you that I have learned that might have some crossover value. This is what came to me. This was posted on a literary agent's site. It was something that one of her published authors said to her. I am not going to get it exactly right, but this is the essence of the thing:
I wish that I had enjoyed my time more when I was still non-published. I could write when I wanted, what I wanted, and how I wanted it. There was no one breathing down my neck telling me how to do it or making me write on a deadline. I wasn't having to do all of that and fit in book signings, interviews, and still write. I didn't appreciate the freedom that I had when I was non-published. I spent all of that time worrying if I would ever get published instead of just enjoying the writing.
I know that as actors you are hustling all the time for that next audition, hoping for that big break, and super stardom. I say to you: enjoy your time of non-super stardom. You are free to do what you want, when you want, and how you want to do it. The day may very well come when you are a superstar ~ and these will be the good ole days.
Anytime you feel like some Blog Therapy, drop on in. You are always welcome! This is me (in case you were curious). I know... I look fairly sane for a crazy person. Spooky.
***Thank you, Lira, for sharing your blog space with me. ***