"The label you give yourself cannot impact external forces that are not motivated by your own psychology or influenced by a third party's pre-existing consciousness of you. We are all presented with reasons to struggle which come from completely external forces; to pretend that one is not struggling is either arrogance or an admission of defeat. To admit that one is struggling is a sign and a source of strength." - Evan A. Baker

Friday, May 29, 2009

I Named Him "Economy"


This is my new best friend! I found him on my neck, during our non-stop flight from Newark NJ to LA, CA.

I was massaging my head, playing with my hair, and then I felt something small and hard tangled in my hair. I thought it was candy. Oh no! I thought, I must have slept on some bit of confetti, one of those Jordan almond candies that are everywhere in Italian weddings. I grabbed hold of it, pulled it through and when I looked at the almond piece and saw that it had moving legs, I promptly threw it away from me. I am going to go ahead and give myself mad props for not screaming. Especially since the other guy in our aisle was alseep. You're welcome friendly sleepy airplane comrade.

I was in the window seat. And I thought, aw cripes. I had my sweater over my legs and was suddenly worried that that bug was now burrowing in my sweater, and that I was going to take it home with me.

I checked my sweater, then pushed on my individual light, opened the window to let in even more light, and searched the carpet.

I found Economy! He was burrowing in the carpet and I did some more quick thinking - some improvising a struggling actress might say. I had the complimentary individually wrapped blanket at my feet, so I tore it open, and used the plastic to grab the little fucker and picked him up and trapped him! Then I tied a knot into the bag, sealing him in.

I looked at my pet. My new BFF. He had 8 legs and was still squirming, probably angry that his fantasies of living in my hair unbeknownst to anyone, and creating a gated community of upscale condominiums near really great schools, was, ahem, squashed.

I buzzed a flight attendant.

"Um, hi, I caught this, and I don't know if it rode in on me or if it was already on my seat, but here, you can, uh, have this."
She reacted the same way I would have. Scrutinizing it and thinking, hmmm. "Oookay," she said. And she left. To show it to all her co-workers, "Bitch from 21 A is carrying vermin in her hair! Check it!"

She came back, "Were you anywhere, um, else, before embarking?"
"Just New Jersey." I said.

But I guess that was enough.

Economy is a brown dog tick, and Economy was sucking me dry. I have a small bite on my neck, but luckily, no Lyme disease just yet.

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