"The label you give yourself cannot impact external forces that are not motivated by your own psychology or influenced by a third party's pre-existing consciousness of you. We are all presented with reasons to struggle which come from completely external forces; to pretend that one is not struggling is either arrogance or an admission of defeat. To admit that one is struggling is a sign and a source of strength." - Evan A. Baker

Thursday, July 8, 2010


Because I can't get into the drama JUST yet, I can only say that I have someone amazing in my corner call BS on someone I'm working with and is helping me out way more than I could ever imagine. Sounds scandalous, right? And then, once I'm able to talk about it, you'll be like, "What, that's it? Pffth!"

I know, I know. But it's made me angry and beside myself and amazed at how high my voice can go when I keep repeating "Really!?" over and over again, which, is a rather redundant way to say wow.

Next Monday, I have a meeting with a mother/daughter to help give them an idea of what life really is like for the average (read: struggling) actress in LA. I applaud the mother's decision to fly out from Boston to help give her daughter a real life look at the real world here, but so far, the girl has yet to reach out to me personally, which I find worrisome in a town that is all about networking. Does she want to be an actress because she has no other choice in life and she must do it or she'll dieeeee! or does she want to be an actress because it's fun! and easy! and she can be on tv! I talked to her Boston acting coach and have to say, if she wants to be an actress, she's going to have to really convince me she's going to do it and not give up after two years. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just two years you lose out of your life when you could be enjoying your youth, going out with your friends, getting an education, and building a career in another field you actually like more and find more fun anyway.

You guys, acting is hard. It is hard. It takes years of training and mad skills to make something so difficult look so easy anyone can do it. And even harder is the struggle that comes with it. Unless your mother or father is famous, or you grew up in the business since you were a baby, or both (Hi Drew Barrymore!) you're pretty much going to struggle to become a working actor. You are going to have soul crushing jobs. You are going to cry about your life. You are going to see all your facebook friends get married and have families. You are going to be refilling diet cokes and getting stiffed on tips. You are going to play a pregant woman in peril more than once. You are going to think that once you're finally SAG eligible, the auditioning world will open up to you and Hollywood is your oyster.


The Hollywood Walk of Fame has glitter in the pavement. It sparkles! Did you know that? It also has homeless people sleeping on it. This is real LA life. For the first five years here, the first FIVE at least, when someone says, Have you been in anything I've seen? The answer is no. Unless they're addicted to pregnant women in peril recreated episodics.

So yeah. Frustrated rant.

And now, to make you laugh, cause being bummed out kinda sucks:

It's also extremely hard to take a good headshot. Or a default picture on a social networking site. I saw this video http://pogpog.com/v/do-not-trust-profile-pictures/ and it made me laugh out loud because I've had the same default picture on FB for almost a year and thought today about changing it but don't have any pictures I'm happy with to replace it. Now I know what to do!

Keep on truckin, ya'll. And if you want to be an actress, prove it. For 10 years.

{photo source}


  1. Here, here. You're rootin' tootin' right it's tough. When I have a good day for acting, I call it a, "I don't feel crazy moment." Because most of the time I feel crazy for passionately pursuing that which feels impenetrable. But, like you, I press forward because those moments of transforming into someone else is worth all the rubies in the world.

    I enjoy your blog and am glad I stumbled upon it!

  2. Okay maybe I missed the point of this post but I think that link to not trusting profile picks was hilarious!

  3. Hrm, hope everything is working out okay, sweetie. BTW saw your tweet to CAZT casting...just had an audition there and now I'm getting plagued with emails about how I can pay to see my audition and hear feedback from the Casting Directors... such a great scam for actors dying to hear what people think about them! I'm resisting as best I can :)

  4. I do not like CAZT because their entire business model is based on actors paying the subscription fee. CDs use the space for FREE! Professional CDs steer clear of that place because auditioning space is part of their overhead and they said they will not patronize a place that rips the actors off in the name of helping them.
    They also require projects to have a certain amount of people auditioning per hour, resulting in the often long waiting you have when you get there.
    And a lot of those projects never come to fruition anyways, because (surprise) they don't have the budget in the first place!


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