"The label you give yourself cannot impact external forces that are not motivated by your own psychology or influenced by a third party's pre-existing consciousness of you. We are all presented with reasons to struggle which come from completely external forces; to pretend that one is not struggling is either arrogance or an admission of defeat. To admit that one is struggling is a sign and a source of strength." - Evan A. Baker

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Affirmation at the Day Job

When I'm slinging hash at the ole Day Job, I get asked a lot if I do stand-up. "I'm standing up right now!" is my reply. I was once asked if I was trying out new material on one table. I wasn't. I was, like them,  also from the Bay Area and know its reputation.

I don't do stand up.

I'm funny, I'm witty. Doing stand up seems like starting all over again in another acting realm which is daunting and scary to me. I'm too chicken to do stand up.

A few nights ago, one guy said, "Whoever puts you in a sitcom is going to make a lot of money." When I was younger, I reveled in this stuff. People liked me! They really liked me! I used to work at Universal Citywalk where we got mostly tourists and I had to affirm for them that yes, every server in Los Angeles IS indeed an actor and they'd all laugh. But I'd also get a lot of "You're gonna make it!"s, a lot of, "You've got that 'it' factor!"s.

And lately, things sort of seem like maybe I'm on the cusp of starting to take off. I have already booked the same amount of projects as I did in 2009, and already made more money at it. It's not yet May. This is a big deal for me. They're all small projects, but work begets work. The more people know me, the more work I'll get.

It's awesome to keep getting affirmations at my job, but I want to jump from affirmations to people who say, "I'm in a position where I can help you," and "You're perfect for this project I'm producing," and how bout a "I want you as a series regular on my [MAJOR NETWORK SHOW HERE]" while we're at it.

I wish more casting directors ate where I worked.


  1. Here's a thought, though: if more casting directors ate where you worked they'd be really, really sick of actors. I think they specifically eat at places where waiters AREN'T actors. :)

    Also, just saw your Twitter about feeling anxious about having to yell and scream at a casting place with thin walls: Go For It. That's how I booked my little spot on Zoey 101: I had to audition as a mother wailing for her dead children and dead husband and dead village, all on her wedding day, in a small trailer with the waiting room within earshot. Every actress that went in the room before me broke into laughter as she could hear the rest of the room giggling at her attempts to make the audition serious - I was the only one (given my comedy training, and given yours, this should be a snap) that never broke. I booked the job.

    Book it, girl!

  2. I can so relate to your pleas. I work in high-tech and I have been letting my colleagues in on my acting ambitions, encouraging them see my work (a play last week). They are supportive, but I don't get to meet anyone at work who would invite me to be in a TV series. It's great that you live in the actors' town.
    Keep up the great blog and best of luck.

  3. Well it sounds like you are doing well this year but I guess living in LA it most be much more difficult feeling like you getting somewhere when you are competing against so many.


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