"The label you give yourself cannot impact external forces that are not motivated by your own psychology or influenced by a third party's pre-existing consciousness of you. We are all presented with reasons to struggle which come from completely external forces; to pretend that one is not struggling is either arrogance or an admission of defeat. To admit that one is struggling is a sign and a source of strength." - Evan A. Baker

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Feeling The Love

It's Valentine's Day today, and if you don't know how it all started, thank Danielle for all her research.
 It's a day that just seems silly to me; even gas stations have flowers and gigantic bears with hearts on them ready to sell. I would rather NOT buy something for my sweetheart on this day. I prefer to make stuff. Our first Valentine's Day together was just like every other day - because every other day felt like Valentine's Day with him. And before I make us all throw up in our mouths a little bit, can I go ahead and propose banning this holiday? I hate it. I hate working it because you are always going to dinner and a movie and you never think ahead about how 1) you need a reservation, 2) the kitchen is ALWAYS backed up, 3) you should've given yourself way more time to eat dinner because this is a full service restaurant, and not McDonald's. 4) if you were really romantic, you would stay in, making crafts together like you were both in kindergarten all over again.

Tonight is the first Valentine's Day in YEARS where I do not have to work! Hooray! Movie Night at Glow and Perriwinkle's!

And even thought I might want to bah humbug the day, I really shouldn't.

One of the hardest things about being a Struggling Actress is erasing the prefix of that name. Can't I just be Actress? And the coaches and agents and managers all say the same thing, Put Yourself Out There.

Put Yourself Out There.

Huh? How?!

And some people believe it's through casting director workshops, while others believe it's postcards and constant submissions and updates.

But I think what one has to realize is that it really should be read as "Put YOUrself Out There." How do you put the You in the ether, hoping that it will culminate into some sort of fantastic coming together of You and The Right Project at The Right Time?

For me, it's this blog. I am putting myself out there for anyone who wants to read it, to know me,
my thoughts,
my fights,
my struggles.
My accomplishments.

On February 28, The Struggling Actress will have its First Bloggoversary. And although it started out of a need to feel a little bit more proactive about what I was doing here, it kept growing. Into tips for other actors, into a chronicle of the ups and downs and how I believe I did during auditions and callbacks, into a very supportive place where I can grumble and complain, or boast and rave and my followers, my cheerleaders, lend their point of view and congratulations.

I feel your love, my friends. I feel your love.

It's not every day a British News Reporter says, hey, your story is one I want to tell.
It's not every day you get an email from someone saying, hey, I saw your movie and I thought you were great in it.
It's not every day you get an email from someone saying, hey, I just found your blog, and I'm also a struggling actress and it makes me not feel so alone.

I feel your love.

I put MYSELF Out There, honestly not expecting anything in return, and am continuously amazed at your generosity.

I did not expect this. I didn't know this could happen. But here we are. Each other's Valentines. You chose me.

Thank you.


  1. Amen to that!! Bloggoversary- Love it!

  2. You chose us. :) Hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day, a Happy New Lunar Year, and are enjoying a nice relaxing President's Day now. So many holidays! Oi!

    Thanks for the shout out. So many people complain about Valentine's Day as being this imaginary holiday made up to sell chocolate. If you think about the meaning behind it, even if you're not religious, it's about a guy who gave up his life because he thought love was more important than war. I think that's something we can all get behind. :)


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