"The label you give yourself cannot impact external forces that are not motivated by your own psychology or influenced by a third party's pre-existing consciousness of you. We are all presented with reasons to struggle which come from completely external forces; to pretend that one is not struggling is either arrogance or an admission of defeat. To admit that one is struggling is a sign and a source of strength." - Evan A. Baker

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Please Stop Yelling

I decided that I was going to let my manager go, for a variety of reasons I shall not get into here, but suffice it to say that if you're in business with me, when you yell, I shut off all the energy to take you seriously. I just stop. I'm able to float out of my body and watch it from above. This is what a lot of abuse survivors do - we are able to distance ourselves out of our self and just watch. Happened once in a side station at a restaurant with a very angry bartender, and it happened again today.

Do not yell. It makes you look unprofessional. When I ask you to stop yelling and you yell that it is ME who is yelling, I'm probably not going to believe you. The neighbors won't believe you either.

When you yell such things as :

"IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE FEAR THAT YOU'RE DOING THIS!"
or
"I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO KEEP YOU ON THE PATH TO YOUR DREAMS!"
or, my favorite

"I WAS THE ONLY PERSON TO BELIEVE IN YOU WHEN NO ONE ELSE DID"
it's really hard to keep a straight face.

And it only validates my decision that leaving you was the best thing.

When I open the door to leave and you slam it shut to yell at me some more, sure, I'll let you yell at me some more. And when I ask, "will you let me leave your house now?" and you open the door to slam it very hard behind me, I am skipping down the steps, gaily getting into my car because yes, Releasing Myself From You Was A Very Smart Career Move.

3 comments:

  1. I am feeling very protective and like I want to kick this person's ass right now.
    Good for you for making the right choice.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well done, lady.

    ReplyDelete
  3. this post makes me growly, yet so, so proud of you.

    What a jerkwad your ex-manager is. Good riddance, I say.

    harumph.

    ReplyDelete

Play nice.